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I can see there is a bit of a theme developing. It began with the mad rooters in Sydney. Then it was all aboard the Indian Pacific from Perth to Sydney for Episode 3 of RWTH3 Down Under (the covers).
Who can complain about a day that begins with Champagne? So what if it’s 7.30am? As we very quickly and regularly repeated: It’s included so why not? We checked our many boxes of wine with the concierge called Martin. He joked about drinking it for us.
Then it was all aboard for four days of constant eating and drinking. Let’s face it, what else is there to do on a train across Australia?
I’d done the trip before, but in the other direction. It turns out, the stops are completely different. Stop 1 was Kalgoorlie at 10pm which was pretty weird.
We were lucky enough to have a mining engineer as our driver and tour guide. He was very knowledgeable about the gold mines.
I even got to drive a huge excavator, which I often threaten to do at my job, but have never actually done.
But the most entertaining part of the tour involved the brothels in town. Yep. That’s right. In keeping with this year’s theme of RWTH3 – Down Under (the covers), we were treated to a very thorough explanation of what went on behind those doors. Still blushing. We didn’t stop, I promise.
A highlight of the trip was having our very own entertainer, Jimmy, who was a real hit. He even accepted some help from the one and only Tina.
Pretty much the only other time we got off the train was in a ghost town. I don’t know what was there. Me, Jimmy and Bob played frisbee.
There was some concern the train would tip over when I saw a dingo out the window. Every single person in our carriage peered out, whilst shouting: “The dingo ate my baby.” Then there were fights and conspiracy theories about Lindy. Did she or didn’t she?
It made me go straight to the bar. After all, it was included.
We eventually arrived in Adelaide and were taken for a bus tour to the Adelaide Hills. Again, it was 7.30am and we were drinking champagne. Just as well, as Steve was the most boring bus driver ever. (Or maybe it was just Adelaide. Did you know they had no convicts?) Steve drove us for an hour each way. It seemed like days.
He showed us all the commuter car parks, 7 different terraces and finally, a service station that had burnt down. Yep that is all there is to see in Adelaide apparently.
By the end we were all laughing so hard we were crying. Poor Steve. Don’t take up standup comedy.
He did remind us at the end not to leave anything behind on the bus. I found this badge in the seat pocket in front of me. I followed the instructions and proceeded to wear it for the remainder of the trip.
From that moment on our bartender called me Hannah-Tina.
On the last day, The Indian Pacific dropped us off in the Blue Mountains and continued to Sydney.
We spent a few hours exploring the mountains then finally made it to Sydney on special chartered train. We arrived at Central Station, ready to collect our bags and wine then head off to yet another magnificent apartment with Sydney Harbour views.
We waited. And waited. No sign of the wine. Staff came. They looked. Nothing. They wrote down my number in pencil on a piece of paper. I was not feeling at all confident, but you should be proud. I did not have a tantrum.
We went to Bondi and admired our view. Elizabeth looked very sad about her personally chosen wine, but was extremely brave. I internally rehearsed the tantrum I was expecting would be required. An hour later my phone rang. It was Nadine, the Indian Pacific Terminal Manager. Our wine had been found, still on the Indian Pacific, but by this time two hours into its return journey to Adelaide.
In my mind I said goodbye to the wine, but Nadine had other, very very good plans. She organised for the wine to be removed from the train, then a staff member brought the wine on another train back to Sydney, caught a taxi to our hotel and personally delivered it. I am still astounded by this effort and quality of service. The Journey Beyond really does go above and beyond.
The wine was packed into the Wine Suitcase and taken back to the USA by one very happy Elizabeth. Well, happy about the wine, but sad to be leaving the show mid season.
