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Is a mid life crisis a one-off thing or a series of events? Each time I try to rejoin ‘real life’ I want to run like I’m on fire. I mean I’m not buying a Porsche or anything but at this rate I might say yes to a time share.
So we all know how Tina gets a new job. I’m lying in bed minding my own business and someone calls up and says can you just do xxx for a few months. I’m getting a bit smarter so I do ask: “Are there any angry people?”
She says: “No – you have staff for that.” I know, I know. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Kids, feel free to write that on my gravestone. (If you feel like you need me to have one. An urn and a plaque is totally fine.)
So I say yes and on the first day the lazy susan spins again. Remember the choice between the shit sandwich and the turd covered in sesame seeds? I realise that it is not just angry people I hate. Maybe it is all people.
Once, many, many years ago and much earlier in my more media-aligned career, I realised I hated journalists, politicians and the community. I should have joined the circus at that point. But no, here I am, like a goldfish. I think I will swim over there now – I’ve never been here before.
Even though I don’t go to church much these days, maybe this is the protestant work ethic. I have to be doing things. Writing obviously doesn’t count. (To be fair, The Thwarters are really out of control and have ruined my creative efforts. Now they are cutting down trees and then mulching them all day. Every day. Mulching and fires. EVERY DAY. I’m ok. Really.)
The event that saved my week was catching up with the daughter of a dear friend from France, here on a working holiday. It made me remember, all over again, that life is short and must be lived to the full.
So, what to do? Luckily I have to go to the USA on Sunday for three weeks so I have time to look at the full range of time shares in Las Vegas. If those people can’t sell me a dream, who can? Failing that, I will audition for the circus. Luckily I will be in Vegas. Maybe there is Cirque De Se-MidLifeCrisis. I am a shoo-in.
