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Where has Tina been, you’ve been asking? The time has been evenly split between the lounge and talking to a new bunch of angry people.
But what I’ve learned – again – is that if it’s not better than lying on the lounge by yourself watching Netflix, don’t do it.
It only took a three day cruise to nowhere to work it out.
So last week I came home early from my latest job because the meeting that I’d driven for 2 hours to attend was called off. I was tired and bored. I asked the spinning wheel if I should go somewhere. It said yes. Then I remembered that one of my favourite piano bar-stars was playing on a cruise ship that left Sydney the next day. So I rang Mitch from Carnival Cruises. He was very nice.
Mitch: Sadly the only room left is a suite.
Me: Oh so sad. Sign me up immediately.
The next morning I caught the train to Sydney and within minutes was on board and singing into a microphone.
Tada.
My suite was a delight. It even had a spa bath. My room attendent Minn was the best. Towel animals never get old.
For your information apparently the boat, or I suppose it’s a ship, sailed down to Eden – which is halfway to Melbourne for any foreigners – did a few circles then came back. That meant it wasn’t super warm but really who cares? I had my own spa.
I want to say at the outset that I tried to go the gym on the first day. I really tried. But it didn’t open until 5pm which is unfortunately wine o’clock. But I had good intentions.
Let’s face it though. I get alot of exercise at karaoke and the nightclub. That’s also where I discovered that everyone on the boat was either from Newcastle or Wollongong. It was pretty much the Harp on the ocean. So fun. It did mean there were only 3 degrees of separation so there may have been some shitting in my own nest. Technically.
The piano bar was probably one of the best I’ve ever been to. And Rohan Windle did not disappoint. Each night it went off in there with everyone from the 20 year olds to the 70 year olds singing and dancing along.
The highlight of the whole trip: Joyce, who was celebrating her 90th birthday, getting up and absolutely nailing Crazy from Patsy Cline at karaoke. The entire audience surrounded her on the stage. It was Simply The Best. Yes of course I sang that.
I only have 2 complaints. Number 1. Don’t make us use our phones for anything. You go on a cruise to get away. I don’t want to scan a QR code to register to sing Simply the Best. I mean you should know what I want to sing just by looking at me. Or let us write it down like normal people.
Last complaint, twin beds pushed together do not a king make. I spent three nights in the crack. Literally. And that’s all I’m saying about the bedroom situation.
