Obviously the writing gods must know I’ve been a bit lax about working on my novel lately. Who would have thought there’d be an actual crime scene out the front of my house on Christmas Eve, followed by a medical emergency on the train to Yamba. Writer’s block over.
We love a spa in Thirroul, so I’m on my way home from the head Twat’s house on Christmas Eve, after several red wines and wrapped only in my towel, to find a gaggle of police officers forming a perimeter around a POI (Person of Interest) out the front of my house.
Clearly the correct course of action was to stand there in my towel, filming the arrest. The police were being very gentle with said POI, while he had quite a few rude words to say to them. Eventually number one son came out and made me go inside. Who is the parent and who is the child?
Soon after, a paddy wagon came and the POI was taken away. I guess he opened his Christmas presents in jail.
Christmas itself passed without incident, other than some pretty serious arguments about Harry and Meghan. There seemed a 50/50 split of lovers and haters. Is there a correlation between people who watch MAFS and Harry and Meghan fans? Please feel free to leave comments, friends.
Now I find myself on the XPT train from Sydney to Grafton. It’s a 10 hour trip, which is a little longer than driving except at Christmas when there is terrible holiday traffic. So, like the rest of my life decisions, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Until the elderly lady across from me got up after 3 hours to exit the train. I looked down at her feet as she struggled to walk up the aisle. Her shoe was filled with blood, which had left a huge puddle on the floor and a trail all along the carpet.
We all got up to help her, while stopping other passengers from stepping in the crime scene.
The lovely staff performed first aid and called an ambulance, then returned to the train to disinfect the whole carriage. They all deserve a medal!
Luckily, they are also skilled at multitasking. They are back in the café car now, serving us cute little wines in a glass and turkey roasts in plastic containers.
It’s like Murder on the Orient Express without any of the luxury. But I haven’t even been bored once.